Saturday, April 19, 2008

Just When I Think I'm Out

They pulled me back in! I just had to do another Hot Or Not Snark-Attack (that's what I'm calling Images of Desperance now). And praise Allah, folks, 'cause for this edition all the ladies are from the cradle and grave of civilization: the Middle (or Near, depending on who you ask and how close you want to get) East.
First off is a girl from the schizo republic of Turkey, a nation which wanted to get in the Snark-Attack European Edition but, to quote the Prime Minister of Denmark, "FAT CHANCE, RAG HEADS!"*
"I hate men with long hair. I hate ugly, stupid and poor people.. I am beautiful, fun and smart."
I'd have to take issue with the "beautiful" and "fun" self-descriptors. First of all, unless Big Bird turns you on, that beak is a definite minus. As for "fun", I can't imagine a that a woman whose first statement to any potential suitors is one of intense hatred for those born less fortunate than herself (except in the hair department) is really all that "fun". Hell, even "smart" is up for debate; a chick with a nose like hers should NOT have posted a photo of herself in profile. And her only keyword? "Alcohol".

This was the very next Turk to appear:
"just looking for a gentile man."
Most Jewish girls don't flat-out admit it like that. Also, most Jewish girls aren't Turkish, but at this point I don't think being Jewish is all that important to her.

This next girl, well, you can't see her face, but apparently you don't need to. Just look at the bullets hanging off that gun. The implication is that you should click Yes, or she will murder you, your family and your friends, and still have bullets left for your pet and a bullet party with her homies. Of course if you DO click Yes, she'll still imprison you, hook you up to a car battery, put you in a naked pyramid and point at your junk while she laughs. Then the fun will end, and the interrogations will begin.
"Hey! I am Tippy."
Damn right.

Finally, some Israelis, the white sheep of the middle east. Sure they have representative government and the Bomb, but they're no less crazy than their Arab cousins. Really, they're cousins. It's in the Bible! Read the whole thing, then tell me it's not in there.
"looking for a real love with a nobleman is it you?....(:"
First off, you can tell she's Hebrew because she writes her smilies from right to left. Either that or she's unhappy and has two moles on her chin. And frankly, no offense to her, but I can't think of any noblemen in any of the world's remaining monarchies who couldn't do a lot better than 35-year-old computer teacher.

And last off, a woman who REEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLYYYY questions your masculinity right off the bat.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was girl like me..."
If my girlfriend wasn't a girl already, what makes you think I'd be interested one now?

*The opinions expressed by the Prime Minister of Denmark are his own. Please don't kill... me. And I think he has guards, so, you know, jihad at your own risk.

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