Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
"[A] work of awful efficiency."
"An Oscar-caliber cast and dazzling visual effects..., dialogue and... plot points."
"'I'm... for this s**t.'"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Her target audience.
You can't even tell that they've been covertly operating in southern New Mexico since 9/11.
Neither can they.
They think it is Afghanistan.
They do not speak Spanish.
"But you can see every penny of the CGI."
"You got that right,... Blur? Starblebee? Unicorn?"
"I really couldn't tell you. We all seem to be gunmetal gray."
"Then screw it. You're Blur."
"The special effects are better and the dialogue slightly more humorous than in the first movie, but the anti-Arab subtext is [unfortunately, only]... PG-13."
"It's a wad of... big screen... machismo".
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Dewey Defeats Woman.
How could any man turn down the thought of more passionate kisses like this one?
"Yessssssssssssssssssssss, I'm going to drink the whole thing. This pitcher is my date tonight. Leave."
"C'mon. Whaddya say, eh? C'moooooooonnn. Ehhh? Ehhhhhhhhh??"
Hypnosis does not work over the internet. Nice try, though.
Monday, March 2, 2009
"The women's prison dramedy I wanted."
"It is, in short, ... humour."
"Two movies for the price of one[!] ... [T]he comedy smashed against the drama makes the whole thing... entertaining."
Jackie K. Cooper
"Roger Ebert's tsunami of racism... is more than sporadically amusing.... Perry's film benefits."
"Once again, Perry has concocted... what he feels reasonably safe in assuming they want...[:] B.O., ...exactly what they do indeed desire. "
"[E]verything Madea says is gold, ... the storyline will literally stop so we can hear the crazed crone go off for no particular reason. [Hooray!]"
Full disclosure: Photo captions are now being outsourced to India. Amazingly, it is cheaper than doing it myself. The firm I've contracted is so well reputed I don't even read the captions anymore. Jai ho!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
And in case any of you are wondering why it's been mostly women up until now, it's because men are skewered SO much more effectively at the Why Women Hate Men Blog.
"Wait, none of you knew "Tool" was a band? But I've had this shirt for years and-- oh."
"Oh, you wanted to put your peanuts in my mouth. Yeah, sure, that's fine too."
Sunday, February 1, 2009
You lost, honey. Getting in the same pose as the last lady did not help your case.
I know she really wants us to look at her breasts but her forehead is the size of a luxury sedan.
Why is her tiny picture sideways? I already have to squint; don't make me lean.