Friday, November 28, 2008

Snark Attack!

At first,I hadn't seen anything funny about this picture, though I did notice what I perceived to be a melancholic, far-away look in her eyes--a false smile, beneath eyes that seemed poised to surrender to tears. I was touched, for a moment, and reconsidered my heartless, Ricklesian hobby of internet mockery. And I had clicked past this one until I realized that, when this photo was taken. this chick was already halfway through an entire pitcher of booze.
I'd have had a far-away look, too.

This is not "stripperobics". She is the world's stupidest fireman. And now she's paralyzed.

"------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ very good "
"Very good"? Did we pass some sort of test? Not being attracted to you? What do we win?

"I love to exercise and be active and hope to find someone who values this as i do."
What a polite way to say "no fatties".

"am just a simple girl and am looking the better part of me "
Her "Better part"? Judging by the musculature on this particular woman, that would be her penis.

CMI: Twilight

"...with ranch dressing and a diet Coke. So what are you having, Edward?"
"Yeah, I don't think you understand the concept of 'vampire' yet."

"The film adaptation of Twilight isn't nearly... bad."
Tim Brayton
Antagony & Ecstasy

"Is it worth seeing? Is it any good? Does it matter what's written or said? The answer is... certainly."
Wilson Morales

"OMG -- I'm so totally... a teenage girl."
Kevin Williamson
Jam! Movies

"It's like an actual grownup movie, all serious and important."
MaryAnn Johanson
Flick Filosopher

"[A]lso... balls."
Pete Vonder Haar
Film Threat