Thursday, March 13, 2008

Originally posted on Xanga 3/18/2008

I love [brackets] and ellipses... because you can insert [or remove] anything you want to from a quote taken out of context and still "technically" be in the clear, as long as you credit the source. So, in the spirit of absolute plagiarism, I introduce a new feature to my blog: "Critical Mass Index". To start it off, I figure I'd use review blurbs from what may well be the worst-reviewed movie of the year (and I'm including the whole rest of the year to come, too): Roland Emmerich's "10,000 BC". By way of introduction, here's a completely unaltered quote from the Monty Python's Terry Gilliam:

Critical Mass Index

OK, now imagine the Tim Allen "Home Improvement" grunt. EEEUUUEHHHGGHH?

Ken Hancke of the Asheville, NC Mountain Express raves:
"Sets new standards for...movies[!]"

Dustin Putman of shouts:
10,000 B.C.
is...pretty....The film is...something

Lou Lumenick of the New York Post exclaims:
"...[H]umans are..., the dialogue is..., and anyone expecting a repeat of the action in 300 is going to be...adventure."

Jan Stewart of Newsday ejaculates:
"An epic adventure of such towering testosterone counts and ceaseless ... hair...[!]"

Keith Phipps of The Onion AV Club proclaims:
"Emmerich knows how to fill the screen"

Chris Hewitt of the St. Paul Pioneer Press interrupts:
"10,000 B.C. is a movie...."

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